Interviews are your chance to shine

It has been said that everyone has at least one book that they are destined to write. I’m not sure I believe that exactly, but I hear an awful lot of people talk about the book they plan to write someday. In practice most people never get to the really hard part of that  process-the actual writing of the book. It is an enormous undertaking, and a huge investment of time and energy.

In the world of business books, the authors are oftentimes very successful business people who typically have some very specific issue or issues that they are addressing, and they care enough about the issue to take time out of their busy schedules to write a book that has their specific and unique suggestions about how best to fix the problem. The author’s hope is that the individual reader or the organization in which they spend much of their time (or both) will somehow have an epiphany, and move in a more positive direction. A better world, if you will.

So, with that in mind, it seems like it would be very important to understand how epiphanies happen. Most often, they happen in DIALOGUE. Hardly anybody moves their paradigm when they’re being lectured. Lecturers are not in a dialogue. They are having a MONOLOGUE.  Simply put, they are talking to themselves. They may feel good about making all their important points, but chances are they’re not really making any lasting difference at all, at least not in the moment.

Why? Because people need to internalize what they’re hearing, analyze it all, and decide for themselves what they are going to do with this new truth that they are hearing perhaps for the first time. And, this process will take time, and the amount of time is different for everyone.

Epiphanies require digesting new ideas and information and for that process to work best there has to be an element of trust. Trust is complicated and interwoven with strands of likability, authority, background, education, experience, etc. If we hear new information that intrigues us, our first question should be “Who is this person, and how can they know and be so sure about this new thing I’m hearing?” But, even before that we are silently asking a vitally important leading question, an often ignored gateway to real epiphanies:  “Do I like and respect this individual enough to really listen to their message?”

Why is this important? Because to be effective, every author and speaker needs to understand that EACH AND EVERY interview or speaking opportunity is, in a way, a dialogue that begins with “Do I Like You?,” followed by “Do I trust you?”.  If the answer is yes to both of those, they are ready to “dialogue” and absorb the message and analyze and decide. Hopefully epiphanies and lasting change follow.

Many experts never get a chance to change people’s minds because they are too busy forcefully making their points to be likeable and conversant. They want epiphanies NOW, and the truth is people will have their epiphanies when the time is right, and that time is different for everyone. People don’t change just because we tell them to.

So, do you want to change the world? Write a great book with fresh ideas, do fun and friendly and informative interviews, give talks that don’t sermonize, give viewers and listeners a chance to like you and trust you. Engage in conversations and dialogue.